Try to be… overwhelmingly positive.

I wish I could say that I’m looking forward to the holidays. To the time off that I have not only wanted, but really feel that I need. I wish I could tell you that the thought of a bit of aimless driving around and some time with my extended family– Christmas and Thanksgiving– is bringing me some measure of joy and anticipation. Maybe. I am looking forward to something. I guess holiday blues are always a thing anyway. Missing Marquita’s parents. Missing Ethan. And I suppose the first Christmas is going to have its tough moments.

I do want to see family. I do want holiday food… and definitely some time off from work. Figuring it out some more. Finding a bit more of me and who I am. 

We are planning a road trip. Just Justin and I. Up the coast and down the middle of the great State of California. The only thing solid on the itinerary is the Trees of Mystery. No one I travel with ever wants to stop there. I do. Maybe we’ll stop at an ostrich ranch… or some other road side tourist trap. I don’t know if we’ll get to Yosemite for a day. Maybe stop in Fresno… eat at one of Ethan’s hang outs. 

There are all these things I either need to or want to do. Paint some more canvases. Get back to karate. Lose weight. Paint the house. Build a pair of compost tumblers. Fix the LA house- the garage, the windows, insulation, air conditioning…. Landscaping… Plant some trees and maybe do a pond in my front yard here in the mountains. 
Scraping up the motivation to start… finding the blocks of time…

Going to work.

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