I have a special pain… and I guess I’m not unique in that.
A burden I bear- alone.
And people try to understand. They relate it to their own pain.
Those moments in my life where I pause… and look away
Or I cry when driving.
Or I just can’t start my day.
It actually is analogous to that time when…
I don’t know, something different, but terrible happened to you.
Your special pain.
I understand that you care. And that makes it bearable.
That is the hand reaching out… to hold mine.
Not like a syringe filled with morphine
Or a mask the doctor would place over my face to make me sleep
But the muddy and wet hand of a friend, kneeling beside me.
It tells me, “don’t give up. You should never give up.”
And I can’t tell you how much I need that.
You lost something. You lost someone.
Your child? Your dog? Your marriage? Your friend?
I understand. A little.
Share it with me.
And even though I may say nothing…
If I can mimic a smile and a polite response, I will…
I appreciate your soul reaching out to mine.
“How are you?” they ask.
It’s polite. A greeting.
I’m supposed to say that I am fine.
Maybe I am fine.
But I pause too long to give an answer
That isn’t strange or uncomfortable.
You are here with me. So regardless of how deep and dark the feelings may run
I am fine.
And I know you are praying.
Praying for a father that lost a son.
Praying for a mother that lost her son.
Praying for a brother that lost his brother.
And those prayers, reflected back from heaven
Intensified ten fold, by a loving God.
They do make a difference.
If you feel bad for me… for us… for this. I understand.
But if you share in this- my special pain…
It becomes our special pain.
It is no longer a burden I bear alone.
And neither is yours.