So tonight at yoga I learned a couple of things.
I was late and I made Marquita late. I don’t like to be late. But it was almost unavoidable. There was a meeting after school and then, although Costco wasn’t too crazy busy, it took longer than expected and I had to abandon the last half of my list. And still I ran late.
So the first thing I learned was that I am no longer very flexible. I can’t do very simple things like bring my knees to my chest… so most of the poses and stretches I can’t really get all that close to. I try. But the stiffness is pretty generalized. So I really suck at yoga.
The second thing is how much tension I have been carrying… in my neck and shoulders, in my jaw and lower back… even my hands and feet. I not only was more flexible when I was younger… I was far more relaxed. I think in the last year the simple tasks of daily life seem to take more effort… and seems to take everything.
Getting up in the morning, going to work, driving home… doing all the usual stuff. It seems easy enough. And the intensity of emotions- sadness, anger, anxiety– as much as I try not to shove it down or cover it up- it might take all I have to get through the day and I don’t even realize how much stress and tension I’m accumulating.
Stretching, breathing, laying on the floor… it is all good. There are good days and bad days. And the importance of walking and breathing. Of stretching and moving and resting. Of laughing and enjoying chocolate… of really relaxing… that can’t be underestimated. Life is good. But sometimes it is hard just to “be”… just to let it all go and to do things and enjoy the moment.