This is the hardest time in my life and I need you to be understanding.

This is the hardest time in my life and I need you to be understanding.

Thank you for being there for me. Thank you for being here. Thank you for your support. I am grateful even when I just look stunned or mute or when I forget to respond. I needed you yesterday. And I need you today. I may, in all probability, need you tomorrow.

I have drawn a great deal of strength from my faith. I have drawn on the strength of my friends and family. You are in for the long haul. That isn’t easy. I can’t be more grateful.

Share a meal. Make me laugh. Catch a movie. Sit with me. Music? Some kind of activity… a walk. A trip to the beach. Surprise me.

Send me an encouraging word online. A short note. A verse. Something.

You are absolutely welcome to talk about Ethan, my departed son. I realize he is dead. But It is kind of nice to know he isn’t forgotten. And if it makes me sad for a moment… that is okay. I’m actually a little sad all the time

And you are absolutely welcome to talk about your own kids. Whatever is going on, you are my friend… and your kids are important.

I have read, and watched in the movie “Happy” that people have an “emotional baseline.” I think it takes about 2 years to get back to one’s “emotional baseline” This may take longer and we may never get back to zero. But I am not worried about how long this will take… so be patient. I’m not going to “get over it.” And even though there is a great deal of conflicting emotions… you don’t ever have to tell me how I feel.

I am fine… and I’m not. I’m okay… and I’m not… and I am still working on it.

I’m trying to express myself in creative ways. I’m trying to be real, and transparent and honest… almost confrontational with my feelings. I’m trying to watch my health…. and to stay active….

I don’t know exactly if there are any things I could do, or ask you to do… But I think we should be ready for anything…

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