What did I loose.

Ask a parent.. a father… who has lost a child, what he lost.
I lost something. Taken away… in one moment.
I lost my son.
I lost his future. And a big chunk of my own.
I have lost enough tears to fill a wide and deep sea
Love gets its hooks in you deep and you can’t loose someone you love without it ripping out a good bit of you…

And there is more
To lose a bit of the past, of the present, of the future…

I lost a dream… a direction… hope.
The struggle to listen to a song.
To taste food.
I lost the ability to remember sometimes

Sometimes without tears

And sometimes it just goes white.

I lost what I wanted

Everything I wanted.
And it has marked me.
I lost the ability to look at things the same way…
I lost the solidity of the earth… I have lost the color of the sky… and a billion stars– I have lost time.
And there was dignity, and faith… a sense of justice and balance,,,
And there is no certainty.

So at some point you stop counting all those things you lost
And I make a list of what I still have.
What still works.
What is still connected.

What is still be there when the fear is gone.

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