To that name on the bookshelf.

Ethan bookcase

And so after a week of cutting wood and nailing, …of moving decking material and painting, of trying to get it done today,
done today… So much time…
and having to do the drive 80 miles each way again tomorrow, there was a big push to get it done. Done today.

Thanksgiving day…
We have to be at mom’s by 5 for dinner. This has to be done today.
It took much longer than I thought. So much time.

Justin coming down and joining me. I’m exhausted before we start… and the sun is up by the time we arrive.
It took much longer than I thought.
Justin picks up the process pretty quickly and it starts off smoothly. Aubre is in the house preparing… and it gets warmer.
And in my head I am calculating… can we get it done by 4?
My calves ache from stepping over joists. Done today.
The sun is brutal.
We cut a board and knock it in and then screw down the clips
We cut a board and knock it in and screw down the clips…

It progresses. And it looks good. (My shoulder aches.)
The sun gets higher and we break for lunch… it won’t be done today.

Down in the cool cave of the garage.
And we begin again… and Marquita shows up and helps. Helps.
And the sun… like the day before.
Cut. Pound. Screw it down.
Cut. Pound. Screw it down.
And we are working together, faster… And we will get it done.
It will get done. Please hydrate.

People begin to arrive. They say hi.
Everyone is happy.

And we worked together… the three of us. The family.
Until the last board. Drink more water.
And somehow we ended up one board short.
I don’t know how. Drink water.
We tell Aubre’s guest that we will be back.
I drink a pumpkin margarita…
But basically we got it done and packed everything up…
And we were a little late to my mother’s house.
It is difficult to talk… to converse. We set thanksgiving dinner and carve the turkey.
And it takes a while to eat…
But I am tired.
I go to lay down.
And I sort of nap.
A thanksgiving dinner overload, heat, dehydration, fatigue
I am exhausted.

And I turn and I see your name.
When did you write that?
And why?
On your grandmother’s teak book case?
Years ago.
I touch it.
I try to feel you here.
And there is a feeling I can’t describe.
It is like I couldn’t
Like I didn’t breathe

So I took a picture
And shared it.


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