The end of Christmas vacation, 2015

We had some interesting weather. Some pretty good cold air and about a foot of snow from two storms right around Christmas and New Years. So there were a lot of tourists… flatlanders we call them… clogging the roads and leaving a big mess. We did spend some time with my family and saw all three of my brother’s daughters… in to LA from far far away.

And I painted one picture.

And I took the time to drive to Los Angeles several times to weld together the railing for the deck and paint it with the new airless sprayer. And although the deck is now done and the garage ready for final inspection, the overspray- I got tiny spots on the back half of Aubre’s and Dan’s cars…

So it is Friday… Today I stayed in and sort of rested, and the new faucet is in. Most of the snow is melted and it rained lightly for about 20 or 30 minutes. I didn’t finish reinforcing the fence around our yard. I repaired the wood and added panels of wire. I just need five more panels. I spent some of my time walking the dog. And thinking.

I think this break was a bit too long. I didn’t do the road trip I was thinking of, but I don’t mind. I know that grief has greatly changed me… it has left its odor about me and colored my outlook. It has affected my disposition and memory, my language, my relationships and my temperament. And I don’t know…

I don’t seem to get hit as often or as deeply by triggers… by songs or memories, or by the voice of a stranger… But I am sad more often. I miss Ethan, and the holidays… even time spent alone at home…

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