It was a difficult moment in terms of trying to focus those thoughts racing in my head. I could feel the sadness… sense tears coming, but at the same time I have Don Henley’s “Dirty Laundry” on repeat inside my head.
We are coming up on two years, which something in my mind has tagged as a magic anniversary… some line from the documentary “Happy” that says by two years from a tragic or even positive life changing event, you will have returned to a certain set point… and I think that is true. I think these moments of sadness will always be with me.
I’m thinking about workout church… our Crossfit Sunday. I’m thinking about religion and politics. I’m thinking about a video of a plane crash in Taiwan… of this perfectly framed plane clearing some buildings, smacking a cab with a wing tip, and cartwheeling into the water.
I’m thinking about education… as a field… as a process… as a thing.
I’m thinking about white privilege, and about the North Carolina Klan in the 1960s, and how this guy Bob Jones spoke into the life of tens of thousands of poor and working class white people, whose worlds were changing, who feared the loss of what little voice and power they had… Where it seemed like everyone else had someone speaking for them, and everyone else was “winning” at their expense.
The Klan would take to the streets of towns and cities in full regalia, In a show of intimidation and a statement of being… provoking the public, but making the statement about the use of public space– in a very basic way showing who owned that town.
I am thinking about profound acts of generosity… and about Marquita’s birthday.
I am think about “Silver Linings Playbook” and “As Good as it Gets”… and how even when life has gotten tangled and sideways that perhaps there is beauty and grace and something worth appreciating… sort of a wabi sabi thing.
“Kick ’em when they up, Kick ’em when they down…”
I’m noticing the springlike air, the fresh shoots of grass, the budding dogwoods, and ducks making ripples in the pond.
I’m thinking I need to write it down. I need to get it all out and untangled before I leave for work or I’ll be no good to my kids… but I can’t seem to unwind it.
So what if we actually believed what the New Testament, what Jesus said? How would that change things? What if we really did turn the other cheek and love our enemies? What if we really did consider others more important than ourselves? What if we really did believe that love is patient and kind and overcomes? What then?