I thought I had a dream. I thought I had a future…
I thought I had a life to look forward to.
I thought I was happy. I thought I had joy.
I really did.
And if I try to remember all of that… I try
Like looking through old photographs
And all I find in memories… old happy memories…
Are fragments and pain.
It is almost like it never happened.
Like I was watching a movie… over and over again…
Until the actors and the images just melted off the screen
Into colorful blobs…
I thought I had a dream and future… and all I have is now.
And in this now I am living in
You are not.
You are missing.
You are ashes.
I thought I had a dream…
And maybe I did… once.
Before all of this shit.
And now all I have are ashes.