It is hard for me to reconcile sometimes, this part of my life story… the part where I go on without one of my sons. And when we stop to celebrate Fathers Day… well, it stirs up some emotions.
I walked the dog and loaded the truck with tools to go work in the garden in Los Angeles… I’m thinking about the task: cut cut cut… load weeds and unwanted plant growth…
And in the back of my mind, I’m thinking about Sunday… about remembering Marquita’s dad… my dad… and about being a dad…
And I could go on and on about not really knowing my dad… about growing up without him. About these scattered visits and letters… and my impressions and his laugh. Or I could talk at length about fatherhood… But really… I’d rather pull weeds right now, and it is time to go.
My friend’s daughter, Heather Avis, asks in her blog the following question… and resolves it quite well I think:
“What is it in your life that you are allowing to define you?
What brokenness do you continue to sit in?
As the sun comes up with the gift of a new day remember that you are still you.
Remember that God is still good. Do not let what you think you need, or the brokenness you are sitting in, define who you are.
Let the healing sun shine on the shattered glass around you.
Pick up the pieces and begin to put them together in a new and surprisingly magnificent way. With each new piece, you will find the hurt begin to fade. What was once a broken mess can slowly, over time, become the beauty you have been longing for all along.”