In the early morning darkness there is a noise- there was a noise
coming from somewhere up the canyon.
And as the echoes faded, I tried to place it and name it
But all I could figure out is that is was a loud clatter from somewhere over there.
And today will be another day, where I wander through events
My emotions, beneath the surface- grieving
We used to ride cardboard sleds down the green rolling hills of winter grass there in East LA.
Cheap fun… and the freedom of sliding with gleeful speed.
But you had to watch out for things hidden by the grass..
Dog shit and broken glass
That could ruin your day.
Searching for a bit of myself and trying to act normal
And questioning the sincerity of my own emotions
And of every action by every human- especially those I think I love.
I don’t know why I put them through this. Is it a test?
And wondering why I am ever here or if anything matters.
Searching for something and maybe the scent of human kindness
What it is, I don’t know. Simultaneously asking for comfort and pushing people away.
I reach out and look for something that is different. Here. Now.
And somehow, someone… maybe a prayer to make it right
A taste of life. A rhythm that is right. Something that is in pitch, on time
Something that feels right.
And an answer to something in splashing paint on a canvas or words on a page
Will that make it better?
God has an answer.