So today, my brother, Paul died.

Paul Feeding Squirrel

I don’t know really what to say. My oldest brother called while I was driving. I thought to discuss Thanksgiving plans, but it turns out that our middle brother, Paul had passed away in his sleep and was found by his room mates. Sesshu was outside mom’s house waiting to tell her and I don’t imagine that this was an easy task. My mom is 90. My brother was somewhere around 57.

He left home when he was about 14 and I was 7. And moved into foster care- so over the years I hardly saw him and never really knew how to relate to him.

He had kind of a crappy life. And it was a difficult and storied life. Physically abused. Bad back. Psychological issues. Alcoholism. He really didn’t have the kind of life I think he deserved. Perhaps at some point it would make a good book.

I have no doubt that he was a genius and an artist with talent I can’t match.

I will miss him. In a way, I always have missed him.


4 thoughts on “So today, my brother, Paul died.

  1. Sabro,

    I’ve been good friends with Sesshu for a long time, since he was in Iowa, I felt like I knew Paul, and your father…but not you because your were ‘okay’, is the way I think about it at least. I do know your mother and somehow this latest bad news seems it will fall into its place in line. She seems to know where to place the good and bad, a woman I wish I could spend a lot more time from, someone I could learn from.
    I always wanted to meet Paul, with whom, apart from writing I felt I had much more in common than I did with my friend Sesshu.

    Take care or yourself



  2. So nice to meet you and Sesshu today. Paul would have been happy to know that we finally met. I hope my blog post gives you a little understanding about the man you didn’t get to know. I will never forget him, he was a big part of my life. ❤


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