Waiting for the rice to cook.

Ethan died while there was a pot of rice in this cooker.
I don’t know what that means.
And I am staring at a square of white canvas
I don’t know what I am going to paint.
I thought about more animal portraits
or koi
or a landscape.
But I kind of want to splash a bit
And let it drip
And run
It is square… which is a bit of a challenge.
And small, so I can give myself more experience.
And I remind my self that I don’t paint to sell paintings.
Or to make anyone happy
Or really from any other reason that the act of painting
holds me together.
I will paint what holds me together best.
But I have to think about what that is.

And I am waiting for the rice to cook
I will eat and then look at the canvas.


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