Somedays, I just don’t want to…

Some years ago I was shoveling out feet of freshly fallen heavy wet snow with Ethan…
And today it is clear and cold and there is no snow.
And I miss the snow.
Today the cat is being especially cuddly and clingy
And following me from room to room
Trying to sit on the keys as I type.
Today is a long day
Of classes and kids and lesson
and today, I just don’t want to.
Somedays it seems like I look for reasons
To match my mood.
I feel angry so I look for something to make me angry.
I feel sad so I look for sad things.
Or I feel tired so I look for a reason to be tired.
Long ago I was outside in the dark
I didn’t want to shovel. I didn’t want it to be so early
Or so wet. Or so cold. Or so heavy.
And even my best boots were not keeping my feet warm
And the snow was heavy, so my back ached with every turn
And it just seemed like so much snow…
And there was Ethan… shoveling with me.
And I miss the snow.


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