Trading Pain for Numbness

If I look at all those things on my summer to do list… I have fallen way way behind.
The Grand Canyon trip… that was awesome and took work and recovered quickly.

But afterwards, I got metal in my eye… and that set me back.

And then one day… my left arm hurt. And I went to the dentist and sat in the chair… and the pain grew worse and worse. And the pain did not subside. Not later that night. I could not sleep… Not the next day. I spent a painful hour driving to the beach… driving it hurt. Sitting. Walking. It was a pinched radial nerve and among the worst pain that I can remember. It was paralyzing… and I went to urgent care and got prednisone and motrin. And for a while it got a little better.

But I could not sleep. Night after night. And then the pain got worse. And I had to go back to the doctor.

I got the lidocaine/cortisone shots. And even though there is still pain and my hand is asleep… I slept. One night. Two nights.

So I traded pain for numbness and I know there is a metaphor there.

Years ago, I was at a Native ceremony for the installation of a Paiute medicine man– there was a smokehouse and prayers and offerings…  and later, one of the other older medicine men- of the Navajo nation approached me and started talking about my feet. He told me that my feet hurt, but that I was blocking the energy, and that unless I would let the energy flow, my feet would never heal. And the thing was that I had plantar fasciitis. And constant foot pain. But I could ignore it all day if I needed to. I had to be willing to feel the pain to heal.

So I had traded pain for numbness. But to heal, I had to go through some pain.

I know there is a metaphor there.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s