And like the metal on metal of rusty wheels on a rusty track
Like the unending dripping of ancient water
Like the sinew tearing under strain
The bone breaking away
And the sound of lost breath.
I remember seeing my son for the first time.
That first sound… just a peep- not a cry
And I remember dreaming of a bright future.
I can remember the ashes falling from the sky
And settling on every surface
Some like ghosts of the leaves consumed
With the skeletal structure of veins branching from the midrib
And having it dissolve into grew white powder in my hand.
And like the child crying in the distance
Of a dark night long ago
And the wail of cats outside my window…
The wind blows the branches against the house and
it scratches and screeches against the stucco
And dry leaves sound like paper
Sorrow surrounds me like heavy blankets
That don’t quite cover me
And my feet grow cold.
And I stare at the eyes in the mirror
To try to find them… to see that soul
To see anything more than grief and pain
To find anything not lost, anything that still hopes for tomorrow
And believes in the future.
I remember that it was there.
Like the stars in the sky